I just wanna come home dad

by Daniel J. Flore III
Babilu
Third Place, December 2019
Judged by Laurie Byro


I remember the big green weeds
when I asked if I could come home
“I’m right down the street at Don’s couldn’t I just come home?”
the answer was no
on the way back to Don’s I wrapped my body in the big green leaves
and smashed through the chipping white painted walls and exposed brick
right into the house


Because of its compression and also a memorable and poignant transformation, I was excited to read "I just wanna come home dad." It says much in a few lines. I would consider punctuating it to emphasize this reduction. This is a poem I have carried with me, almost haunting in how the estranged son enshrouds the house. Like the gothic story, The Yellow Wall-paper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, it is subversive regarding powerlessness and madness in a troubled relationship. I might replace big green leaves with ivy for more specificity, as the crawling ivy might work to further emphasize the detachment between father and son. Ground creeping ivy is the image I got from the metonymy used here. --Laurie Byro

  • December 2019 Winners

    • First Place

      By Waterloo Station
      by Paul A. Freeman
      The Write Idea

      Second Place

      Patagonia Lost
      by Sylvia Evelyn
      Babilu

      Third Place

      I just wanna come home dad
      by Daniel J. Flore III
      Babilu

      Honorable Mention

      The War Bride
      by Ken Ashworth
      The Waters

      Honorable Mention

      Beethoven Dying
      by Bob Bradshaw
      The Writer's Block

      Honorable Mention

      Ain’t Got Time To Die
      by Christine Potter
      The Waters

  • November 2019 Winners

    • First Place

      Rapture
      by JJ Wiliamson
      Babilu

      Second Place (tie)

      Red Spider Lilies
      by Bob Bradshaw
      The Writer's Block

      Second Place (tie)

      The Big House At Mambalam
      by Siva Ramanathan
      The Writer's Block

      Third Place (tie)

      What Have I Done to Thee O Muse
      by Peter Halpin
      Wild Poetry Forum

      Third Place (tie)

      World Affairs
      by Kenny A. Chaffin
      Wild Poetry Forum

      Honorable Mention

      Morning
      by Mary MacGowan
      The Waters

      Honorable Mention

      A Can of Grandma Figlioto’s Pasta Sauce
      by Daniel J. Flore III
      Babilu