Dr. Seuss’s Guide to Manly Health and Training

by Paul A. Freeman
The Write Idea
Honorable Mention, July 2017
Judged by Tim Mayo


Hung over, half blind
from the sun’s sunny glare;
I was gluttony’s twin
and resembled a pear.

I sat beside Sally
who thought it a jape
to laugh at my plight
and my bodily shape.

So I said, “Step by step,
with deliberate stealth,
I plan to get fit
and regain manly health –
that wealth of good health,
I’ll regain it by stealth.”

I permitted myself
three times daily to eat
of fruit, veg and fibre
but zero red meat.

Those slammers and shots
and those gallons of ale
were things of the past
lest my regimen fail.

Each day of the week
I frequented the gym,
lifted weights and ran miles
till I ached in each limb –
getting slim,
      slim,
            slim,
                  slim,
till my figure was trim.

I’m now an Adonis!
Sally says, “It’s not fair!”
For alas, she alone
still resembles a pear.



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